A Star of Me

This morning, Noah walks up to me and asks:

"Is there a star of me?"

This sentence made no sense to me. "What?"

"You know, like there's a Star of David. Is there a Star of Noah?" he asked.

I laughed. "No, not that I know of."

He frowned. "Why not? I think there should be one."

High Opinion

This morning while we were eating breakfast, Noah was talking to me while I was reading something and I didn't notice until about halfway through his sentence.

"What?" I said.

"Were you listening to me before?" he asked.

"No, sorry. What did you say?"

He started talking again very slowly. "I was saying that I can't wait until I get to see Oma and Opa. Because it's going to be very soon," he said.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Did you get all that?"

Me, "Yeah....why?"

Noah, "I was worried I might be talking to fast for you to understand."

Me, "Glad you have such a high opinion of me, Noah."

He thought about it for a second, then said. "Well you are a lot taller than me."

A few minutes later, he observed, "God understands you even when you are talking as fast as you can. That's because he has the biggest mind. And he is the highest."

It's Only a Fail Because...

Noah has been doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with me. He absolutely loves it. 

He had been asking me for a while to train with me, but I didn't think he would have the focus. Also, I was pretty sure that the majority of his motivation was to get a gi (the uniform people wear in BJJ). 

But, seeing as gis are expensive, I wanted to make sure that Noah was serious about training. So I made a deal with him that he had to finish an entire class without getting distracted by the other kids who were at the gym playing. The first class he came to was... kind of a bust. He did the warm-ups and some of the drills, but then he wanted to play with Luca and some of the other kids that were there. He didn't finish the class, therefore he didn't get his gi.

Devastation ensued. 

Noah, being the strategist that he is, asked me if he could come to afternoon classes with me. Usually, there aren't many kids in afternoon classes, so he said he wouldn't get as distracted. I agreed. And he did awesome! 

Noah has been coming with me to afternoon classes since then. He has been to two more classes and has learned an armbar from mount and guard, an omaplata, learned some things about retaining mount. He even did an inverted armbar. Like his Mommy, he is now loves Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Here are some pictures of him doing an omaplata.

This morning, when I was looking at Failblog while we were eating breakfast, we came across this picture.

"That baby in the yellow shirt is doing it right and that other baby is struggling to get out, right?" Noah asked.

I said, "Yep."

Noah said, "And that baby is doing the armbar just like I do."

Me, "Yep."

Noah said, "Did he let go when the other baby tapped?"

Me, "I don't know."

Noah, "Well I think he'll get in trouble if he doesn't let go. He will break the other baby's arm. And that's not nice for somebody's arm. Unless if it's a bad guy. It's only on Failblog because he didn't let go when the other baby tapped."

Mommy, I Think You Should Change My Name

Noah has had several identity struggles in his short seven years of life. When he was four, he became very disturbed by the fact that his name was Noah. To him, Noah was "No-Ah", as in the word "No", which is never a popular word with kids. He asked us to stop calling him Noah and start calling him "Yessah" instead.

That one was cute. Less cute was his next identity change. He became obsessed with the most obnoxious children's show that has ever been created. The theme song plays at least five times per episode. In a show where the episodes last about 20 mins, that is excessive. I will include the opening credits only to prove that real evil does exist.

Thanks to Netflix, Noah had access to the entire first season of this wonderful show. He decided he wanted to be Jake from the Dino Squad. He would only answer to the name Jake. Why? Because Jake transforms into a T-Rex, which is the King of all the Dinosaurs.

Duh!

Fast forward a year, and you find yourself in the age of Star Wars. Being a nerd, I decided to introduce Noah to the series in chronological order, starting from Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. He instantly decided Anakin Skywalker was the coolest person to ever exist (in Noah's mind, he was ABSOLUTELY real) and for a while, he insisted that he be called Anakin.

This obsession gave birth to one of the creepiest Halloween Costumes I have ever seen.

He was so enamored with Anakin that for a long time, we hid Episode 3 from him because that is the movie where Anakin turns to the Dark Side and becomes Darth Vader. One day, Episode 3 came on TV and I didn't notice until it was too late. With tears in his eyes, Noah came to me and said, "Mommy, something terrible has happened. Anakin turned to the dark side!"

But even with the revelation that his hero had turned villain, Anakin lasted a while. Recently, Noah had a brief had a brief Jack Sparrow stint, with some anonymous Ninjas thrown into the mix, but the other day, he picked a new identity. It is the strangest one yet. 

Yeah. That's who you think it is. George Washington. Ever since I told him the story of George Washington leading men in a sneak attack against the British, Noah has been obsessed with the First President of the United States. Today, in the car, we had this conversation. 

Noah: "Mom, why didn't you name me George Washington?" 

Me: "Why? Because I liked the name Noah better."

Noah: "Well I don't."

Me: "Sorry, bud. That's your name."

Noah: "Well I think you should change my name to George Washington. He was the best president of all time."

Me: "He was pretty cool."

Noah: "So will you call me George Washington?"

Me: "How about you just pretend to be him."

Noah: "Ok. I guess that works."

Yo-ho, Yo-ho a British Life for Me!

Noah is learning about George Washington. This morning, we talked about the American Revolution and the battle where George Washington led a surprise attack against the British.

When I was explaining to him why the early Americans wanted to be free of British rule, I was telling him that the King was ordering them to give him lots of their money without being fair.

Noah said, "So, the British were kind of like pirates?"

Me. "Um...kind of. But the British were taking taxes--charging money for things--without being fair."

Noah, "So they were stealing."

Me, "Kind of."

Noah, "So, they were pirates, like I said."

Me, "Not really, but you can think of it like that if you want."

So, when Noah was drawing a picture of George Washington going over to surprise the British (pictured above), Noah was singing, "Yo ho, yo ho a British life for me!"