Mommy, I Think You Should Change My Name

Noah has had several identity struggles in his short seven years of life. When he was four, he became very disturbed by the fact that his name was Noah. To him, Noah was "No-Ah", as in the word "No", which is never a popular word with kids. He asked us to stop calling him Noah and start calling him "Yessah" instead.

That one was cute. Less cute was his next identity change. He became obsessed with the most obnoxious children's show that has ever been created. The theme song plays at least five times per episode. In a show where the episodes last about 20 mins, that is excessive. I will include the opening credits only to prove that real evil does exist.

Thanks to Netflix, Noah had access to the entire first season of this wonderful show. He decided he wanted to be Jake from the Dino Squad. He would only answer to the name Jake. Why? Because Jake transforms into a T-Rex, which is the King of all the Dinosaurs.

Duh!

Fast forward a year, and you find yourself in the age of Star Wars. Being a nerd, I decided to introduce Noah to the series in chronological order, starting from Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. He instantly decided Anakin Skywalker was the coolest person to ever exist (in Noah's mind, he was ABSOLUTELY real) and for a while, he insisted that he be called Anakin.

This obsession gave birth to one of the creepiest Halloween Costumes I have ever seen.

He was so enamored with Anakin that for a long time, we hid Episode 3 from him because that is the movie where Anakin turns to the Dark Side and becomes Darth Vader. One day, Episode 3 came on TV and I didn't notice until it was too late. With tears in his eyes, Noah came to me and said, "Mommy, something terrible has happened. Anakin turned to the dark side!"

But even with the revelation that his hero had turned villain, Anakin lasted a while. Recently, Noah had a brief had a brief Jack Sparrow stint, with some anonymous Ninjas thrown into the mix, but the other day, he picked a new identity. It is the strangest one yet. 

Yeah. That's who you think it is. George Washington. Ever since I told him the story of George Washington leading men in a sneak attack against the British, Noah has been obsessed with the First President of the United States. Today, in the car, we had this conversation. 

Noah: "Mom, why didn't you name me George Washington?" 

Me: "Why? Because I liked the name Noah better."

Noah: "Well I don't."

Me: "Sorry, bud. That's your name."

Noah: "Well I think you should change my name to George Washington. He was the best president of all time."

Me: "He was pretty cool."

Noah: "So will you call me George Washington?"

Me: "How about you just pretend to be him."

Noah: "Ok. I guess that works."