Most Important

Yesterday, Noah was in the car and he asked me, "Mommy, what do you think the most important world resource is?"

I said, "Do you know what a resource is?"

He said, "Yeah," in a voice that indicated that he felt I must be mentally disabled, "It's stuff that humans use. Like water, food, iron, wood."

I asked him, "What do you think the most important world resource is?"

"Hmmm," he said. "I'm going to go with water. Because a human can only survive for 3 days without it. You can go for like 3 weeks without food. But you die if you don't have water for 3 days."

Thought that was a pretty good observation. However, why Noah is wondering about world resources is another story. Last time we had a conversation on the global level it was about armies and wars. Planning to take over the world requires a lot of research, I suppose. ;)

Wouldn't it be cool if...

On the way home tonight, Noah said, "Wouldn't it be cool if you could snap your fingers and make your dreams come to life?"

"Yeah, that would be pretty cool. What's your favorite dream?"

Noah said, "Umm, probably the one where I'm a ninja and I'm battling this bad guy. I do some karate chop stuff to his face and then I kick him in his undercarriage. You know, his groin. But he doesn't get destroyed yet. And he pulls out his sword and tries to stab me, but I make my stomach morph into this, like, donut shape and the sword goes right through and doesn't hurt me. Then I turn back into human form and take out my swords and stab him and he explodes."

I heard the whole story, but to be honest I was really still stuck on the fact that he used the word undercarriage.

Multi-talented

Noah is multi-talented. Not only does he say funny things, he can do funny things as well. Take bowling for example. 

Notice the extremely technical approach. We like to call it the Juggernaut. And, in case you missed it, Noah is indeed using the force to push pins down. Like I said...multi-talented. 


He can also draw amazing works of art. As long as the subject matter is dinosaurs of jedi battles.

He also has the ability to send me into a rage orbit using less than ten words. 


This morning, while I was brewing my coffee, he came up to me and said, "Can I go out to the car and get my sword?" I responded, "In a minute."
Exactly one minute later, Noah pops into the kitchen and says, "A minute is 60 seconds. Your time is up." 

Hulk smash is illegal in real life, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

You mean...

I started a new job recently and part of my training is watching some videos on teen pregnancy. Noah was doing school in the next room, but was apparently listening to the video. After the girl on the video gave birth, he came in and we had the following conversation:

Noah: Mom? Did you give birth to me like that?

Me: Yep.

Noah: How did you get me out of your tummy?

Me: I had to push you out with my stomach muscles.

Noah looks confused and puts his hand on his tummy: But how...did...how did I come out of your tummy? Did I rip your skin?

Me, laughing: No, you didn't actually come out my tummy. You came out...(I point towards my legs).

Noah's expression turns from confusion to dread: You mean...I came out your butt? 

Me: Pretty much.

Noah does a face palm: Gross. That's disgusting.

Me, laughing: Gross huh?

Noah, walking away: I don't want to talk about this anymore. Gross...

From the other room, I hear him mutter, "All I wanted was a peaceful break from school. And this is what I get."

LOL!!!!

Noah Using the Force to Bowl

A Star of Me

This morning, Noah walks up to me and asks:

"Is there a star of me?"

This sentence made no sense to me. "What?"

"You know, like there's a Star of David. Is there a Star of Noah?" he asked.

I laughed. "No, not that I know of."

He frowned. "Why not? I think there should be one."

High Opinion

This morning while we were eating breakfast, Noah was talking to me while I was reading something and I didn't notice until about halfway through his sentence.

"What?" I said.

"Were you listening to me before?" he asked.

"No, sorry. What did you say?"

He started talking again very slowly. "I was saying that I can't wait until I get to see Oma and Opa. Because it's going to be very soon," he said.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Did you get all that?"

Me, "Yeah....why?"

Noah, "I was worried I might be talking to fast for you to understand."

Me, "Glad you have such a high opinion of me, Noah."

He thought about it for a second, then said. "Well you are a lot taller than me."

A few minutes later, he observed, "God understands you even when you are talking as fast as you can. That's because he has the biggest mind. And he is the highest."